Moving To Ji'nan

February 28th, 1989

In 1989，LU relocated with his parents from a small town to a capital of the province, which is called City with Springs. His memorable happy childhood started at that time. Meanwhile, Taylor Swift was born in that year as well.

Kindergarten Time

March 20th, 2014

When Lu was 5 years old, he moved to a kindergarten called Shuyu. Shuyu Kindergarten (S.K.) was a semicircle‑shaped building with a giant arched gate. Sometimes children liked to run all the way to the top of that five‑meter‑high gate just to show how brave they were. I was definitely one of them. I treated that gate like my personal Mount Everest. Three things hit me whenever I memorize that time:


1. The kindergarten-made legendary disaster dumpling.

That dumpling… my god.
It was stuffed with dirty dried shrimp that nearly murdered my throat, and an army of leeks that tasted like someone washed socks in warm beer and said, “Yes, this is cuisine.”
You can imagine how disgusting it was.

So what did I do?
I took one bite, looked left, looked right, confirmed the area was clear, and immediately launched that demon-dumpling into the void like a professional food assassin.


2. The saga of the evil tiny-eyed teacher.

In my second year of S.K., I brought my cassette to share music with everyone. My cassette. My private treasure. My kingdom. I had the right to decide how it played, okay? After it had been playing for maybe an hour (or a century, I don’t remember), I went to Miss Lee — tall, big eyes, genuinely kind — and told her I wanted to stop it because I didn’t want to damage my beloved tape. She said, “Okay.”
So I stopped it.

Then chaos descended:
A young woman with tiny eyes, who technically had the title “teacher” but spiritually absolutely did NOT, suddenly slapped the back of my head and scolded me like she was rehearsing for an opera called The Endless Lecture.
She was scolding with passion, like it was her hobby.

I cried, of course.
Miss Lee rushed in, stopped her, and comforted me like the angel she was.

That’s the whole story.
Even today, whenever I think of that woman, I hope she has permanently lost all remote controls in her life. That is my peaceful, poetic revenge.


3. The unforgettable sandpit dive.

This happened during a gym class entirely about jumping. Just… jumping. I don’t know what kind of superpower I thought I had, but I jumped with so much enthusiasm that I ended up doing a full doggy‑style dive straight into the sandpit.

My mouth was instantly filled with sand.
I still remember the taste — like nature’s way of saying, “Congratulations, you played yourself.”

Unforgettable moment. The sandpit won with a perfect score.

A Special Girl

May 20th, 1994

Lu, officially began his school life in 1991 A.D.
Yes — A.D.,
like a mini historical figure starting his own tiny civilization of crayons, chalk dust, and chaos.

Back then, he was just a small boy with a big head, trying to survive the daily battles of elementary school: handwriting competitions, running in the hallways, and the mysterious disappearance of pencils that no detective could solve.
And then, in 1993, destiny decided to add a plot twist.
A little transfer student walked into the classroom and was arranged to sit right beside me. She wasn’t shy at all — not the type to tremble like a lost leaf in a new environment. No. She sat down, looked around like she owned the textbook universe, and then turned to me and asked:

“Do you want me to help you with anything?”
Anything??

At that moment, I felt like I had accidentally hired a personal assistant at age seven.

Maybe she was bored.
Maybe she was too confident.
Maybe she just wanted to start her new life with some heroic contribution.
But I, being a strategic young gentleman, immediately recognized an opportunity from heaven.

I thought:
Well, this is a wonderful time to outsource my homework.

So I gave her my assignment with great pleasure — like a king handing out his royal decree.
She accepted it with the seriousness of a junior scholar.
She finished it beautifully, neatly, professionally.

I took that perfectly completed assignment to the teacher.
The teacher looked at it and gave me four stars.
Four.
Not three.
Not two.
Not “see me after class.”
Four shining stars like a constellation of academic glory.

At that moment, I felt the first warm spark of admiration.
She had special eyes — bright, clever, observant.
She had a beautiful smile that made the classroom feel less like a battlefield and more like a friendly town.
And she had the magical ability to turn my lazy fate into shining homework.

Her name was Fan Yu.
She became my first co‑studying friend — the first person in my academic life who partnered with me, supported me, and unintentionally helped me become a four‑star student.

For the rest of elementary school, she never influenced me too much — but just enough to leave a small, gentle mark in the timeline of Lu’s personal history.

The First Politacal Show

July 9th, 1995

After 3 years, things changed a lot. Lu and many students were growing up, and so did Fan. This was already her 5th time winning the “Head of Students of the Class.” She basically collected that title like Pokémon cards. Every year she won it again, like it was her family business.

In 1995, Lu and his classmates welcomed a new head teacher: Xiao Li (X.L.), a young female teacher with less experience, heavy near‑sight, and the energy of someone who wasn’t sure if she should be teaching kids or feeding pigeons in a park. At that moment, Fan became more and more ambitious. With X.L.’s poor eyesight and poor judgment, Fan became her No.1 assistant — or more accurately, her running dog. Together, they controlled and operated the class without any democracy at all.

To break her dictatorship and release people from her evil domination, Lu started building up his masterpiece: the National Revolutionary Union (NRU).
This was Lu’s first political movement.
This was history.
This was chaos.

NRU once gathered almost 16 members — about 40% of the whole class. This was not a small club; it was basically a government inside a government. Lu, as the founder and president, showed a leadership that could almost scare a chalkboard. NRU’s rise directly threatened Fan’s domination. She panicked. She stepped on her own shadow. She probably lost sleep. NRU was rising fast and strong.

At this emergency time, Fan and her evil little bandits released their killing blow: framing Lu.

First, she inserted a spy inside NRU — a little traitor who could look you in the eyes and still betray you before recess.
Then she made some “evidence,” probably written on leftover homework paper, to “prove” Lu was doing conspiracy.

And unbelievably, that new stupid head teacher X.L. trusted everything Fan said. She didn’t research, didn’t check, didn’t even use her glasses. She just believed it like it was printed on a textbook.

The revolution failed.

NRU was deconstructed.
X.L. treated Lu like a war criminal, even encouraged everyone to criticize him. She summarized that Lu was a “problem student” with “heavy psychology issues.” (In Lu’s heart, he thought: “If fighting against dictatorship is a problem, then I am happy to be a problem.”)
All the NRU core members were punished.
Fan celebrated like she won the Olympic Games of classroom politics.

But life is funny.

After 4 months, Fan failed the mathematics exam. She ranked the last but four.
That was the consequence of framing Lu and his royal partners.
Fan’s win lasted only 4 months, then her political empire went to death quietly like an unplugged fan.

After this failure in Lu’s first school politics show, Lu made a big announcement:
He would disappear from politics forever.
He would never touch it again.
(At least until next time destiny tried to annoy him.)

P.S. Miss Fan Yu eventually dropped math completely (no surprise at all). Now she is a screenwriter and instructor with a Ph.D. in drama, teaching screenwriting at Beijing Film Academy. Very dramatic path — actually suits her political childhood very well.

The Birthday of 1st Dream

July 9th, 1996

In 1996, there was a nuclear-bomb-like album split the entire sky of Chinese music world: the Yanni Live at Acropolis.

Almost every music store, book store, broadcast, TV shows even advertisement all played his god like song: Santorini. almost a stock commentator didn't forget to play it in the break, not advertising, not promotion, just Santorini, he even dragged stock and Olympic games slogan together , passionate saying "in the year of 1993 A.D, a Greek-America musician and producer named Yanni, introducing a totally fresh thematic music, its giant lineup, its grand vibe, its passion shocked the musical producers all over the world."

My dad was trading stocks at that time, when he heard the word "stock" mixed inside the radio, he suddenly rushed into my room and shouted
"stock?"
This shocked me a lot, I looked at my cascade player said:" it was just music, no money."
then he left in disappointment.

Everyone who listened Santorini acted like injected cocaine that nobody couldn't control themself. So did I.
I broke open my lovely piggy bank and collected a bunch of coins to buy a pirated copy from a street stall. That stall probably sold more Yanni cascades than snacks.

After that, when I proudly tried to show-off my “rare treasure” to my BBF XP Tan, he showed-off me something even better — the legal high‑definition version. Not only him, even a soft, intellectual, college girl eight years older than me had bought the same pirated album from that very same stall. That album basically became the seller’s secret weapon to raise his whole family.

Can you imagine how hot it was?
It only needed one more step: the president recommending it on national television.

The booklet of the album boldly wrote:
"this album, like huge tornado, easily sucked 7.5 million copies after release. (not included my pirated vision from street stall).

I thought:
"This guy only did one album and reached such high record, if he makes two album like this, then he probably doesn’t need to work again. What if I make one album like this, then I do not need to go to school anymore.

Considering Yanni was from Greek, I started imagining:
What if one day, a future Chinse musician --Me---, could do the same thing in America?

Emmmm, that's a great job, that's an easy job, that must be my job.

This is my first dream.

The Secondary Dream

August 30th, 1998

In 1998, Lu moved into a new big house with his parents. That house became his small kingdom. He lived there for more than 5 years before moving again to Zhejiang province with his family. The new house had bigger space, better light, and a mysterious neighbor who always coughed at midnight for no reason. Life was peaceful.

In the same year, Lu watched the movie “Titanic” on a VCD player — the great technology pride of that era. The VCD sometimes froze at dramatic moments, especially when Jack was about to say something romantic, but still, the movie shocked Lu like a lightning hit his imagination.

Besides watching it, he also read a lot of related reports, behind‑the‑scenes stories, and books about the making of Titanic. He even read things he didn’t fully understand at that age, but they all went into his brain like fuel. Those materials inspired Lu to create a very ambitious dream:

He wanted to make a blockbuster movie when he grew up.
Not a small movie.
Not a boring documentary about plants.
But a big, dramatic, world‑shaking blockbuster — something that could sink a ship (not literally).

Under the Chinese education system, there is honestly nothing very special to mention about Lu’s middle school period. Everything was the same old routine: exams, homework, teachers reminding students to sit properly, and the school canteen serving food that always tasted one level lower than “acceptable.” The only thing worth recording is Lu’s height.

His height went from 160.5 cm to 176 cm, like a bamboo suddenly remembering its destiny.
Then in high school, it continued growing, from 176 cm to 177.5 cm.
Very interestingly — and scientifically confusing — it grew another 1.5 cm, from 177.5 cm to 179 cm, when he was in America.

Maybe it was the American milk.
Maybe it was the clean air.
Maybe it was just destiny giving him a small final push.
But anyway, Lu grew.

Friends On The Bus

September 15th, 2001

When people are in the darkness, they always try to find the light. For me, the darkness was high school — boring, chaotic, tiring. But those were not the real problems. The real problem was that you were forced to live in a “parallel universe” with a group of people you would never choose, and you had to stay with them for three whole years. No escape. No exit door. Just sit down and endure.

Every day, you had to watch them mocking you, hear them laughing at you, and fight through those stupid moments again and again. You also had to face those “special looks” when sometimes you got last but five in the ranking — a ranking the head teachers loved to announce with addictive excitement, like they were announcing the winners of a lottery. Facing parents after that? Still a problem. All of this became the darkness.

So where was the light in this dark side?
That is what we talk about now.

Interestingly, every morning when I went to my high school, I always saw 4–6 students going to their high school. We were very easy to identify by our clothing — a unique cultural thing in Chinese teenage school life. In short: students were forced to buy school-designed clothing (uniforms, jackets, pants, whatever the school wanted). Each school had its own style.

The educational theory behind this was simple:
prevent students from keeping up with the Joneses.
(As if a uniform could stop teenagers from comparing anything.)
These uniforms all had something in common:

poor design,
poor material,
and a level of fashion that went straight into negative numbers.

Honestly, nobody wanted to wear them. That’s why, of course, schools had to force students to wear them. In the end, students were dressed like Foxconn workers — how could they show any unique personality with that?

Back to the beginning — where was I?
Every morning I met those 4–6 students wearing another school’s uniform. Why another uniform? Because I did wear my school uniform. So it was very easy to identify who was a high school student among the people waiting for the bus.

One day, I talked to them first.
After noticing we could talk about many topics — from science to gossip, from handsome boys to gorgeous girls — we quickly became friends. We talked about everything, anything, nonstop. Very soon, we became close.

To memorize our friendship, we called ourselves the “44 Bus Squad,” because we always met on bus 44. That was the light — a fissure cutting through the darkness, planting the seed of a small blue universe in my high school life.
Time flies. Over 20 years now.
They are all living good lives.

Wenkai graduated from Hong Kong University and works in Citibank as a financial lead. Xuetao built his own business and now works at a Fortune 500 company. Wenjia found her other half, built a beautiful family, and has two lovely babies. I am so proud of them.

Fisrt Time Dreams Come True

September 27th, 2007

Lu started his college life in 2004. As a freshman, life honestly wasn’t bad at all, except for one thing: some roommates were completely impossible to deal with because they played games from day to night like their souls were permanently inside Counter‑Strike or Warcraft. Sometimes I wondered if they were still humans or fully evolved digital creatures.

When I went to sophomore year, my study direction became totally lost. “I didn’t know where I should go. Statistics was boring, communication studies didn’t give me any passion. Sketching and painting… hmm… just like a hobby, never thought I would walk on that track. Life was difficult to choose. I didn’t even know where my future was hiding.”

Our BanZhuRen — the instructor who supervised students’ life and graduation — was a very self‑righteous guy, especially when it came to 3D knowledge. He once argued with me, yelling that rendering must use a Video Card. He shouted like this was the law of physics, completely ignoring any explanation.

But that was 2006 A.D.
The first GPU computing tool (CUDA) came in 2008, while the first real GPU renderer arrived around 2010.
And he didn’t even say “GPU computing.” He said “VIDEO CARD,” like he was talking about some magical thing inside Windows 98. That moment fully proved he knew absolutely nothing about rendering technology.

Another self‑righteous instructor was a business management teacher — a woman who refused to compromise on anything. When I pointed out her explanation was incorrect, she responded to me rudely, saying what she said was “absolutely right” and my argument was “wasting her time.”
These two instructors were the top stars of my college life — in the worst way possible. So you can imagine what you could learn under this kind of teaching.

In 2007, I decided to change my life track from the previous undirected, depressed, anxious days.
I put all my classes on Monday. That meant from 8:00 a.m. to 8:30 p.m., I had an extreme marathon of classes with almost no time to breathe.

Why did I do this?
Simple:
If you put the whole week’s classes into one day, then Tuesday to Friday becomes completely free.
Which means:
Every week = a six‑day long vacation.
What a wonderful idea.

So I made a big step: I started making music.

I bought many books and e‑magazines about mixing, recording, and MIDI technology. I began with Cakewalk Sonar — felt inconvenient. Tried Cubase — looked ugly. Tried Reason — anti‑humanity interface. Finally switched to FL Studio, and hmm, that felt good.

At that time, I didn’t have a MIDI keyboard, but FL Studio allowed me to use the PC keyboard to play music, which felt like magic. I also rented an old‑fashioned apartment with two guys, and called my tiny room “Studio.”
My studio was made from:
$1500 PC
$40 speaker
$50 Audio‑Technica monitor headphone
some illegally downloaded software (everyone did that at that time)

The beginning was very painful.
Using a PC keyboard to draw notes of a whole song was like watching an old man type on a typewriter — slow, loud, and extremely inefficient. But I forced myself to continue.
My life during that time was very regular:

7:00 am — woke up, did a small run
Breakfast in the restaurant
Worked until 11:50 am
Lunch
Afternoon entertainment
Dinner
Night working time

The college restaurant delivered far more delicious food than what I can get now. The dishes were lightly salted, low oil, over 40 varieties, and cheap — three times cheaper than modern takeout.

Now in China, takeout is more expensive, more oily, more salty, spicier, and more unhealthy. Without that dream restaurant, I wouldn’t even have motivation to maintain a regular life.

Life in Shanghai today? A disaster. (Cry)

After almost 3 months, my first song was born.
It was created with various tools: FL Studio, Bösendorfer Piano, SampleTank 2, and mixed in Audition (surprise!).
My feeling was indescribable — like the universe suddenly belonged to me.
The genius finally launched like a rocket, like a giant dick blasting into the sky.

My happiness was like the moment Donald Trump became president by accident — unbelievable but real.
The song was called “Your Eyes.”
It was inspired by a beautiful girl who looked like Cate Blanchett.

The Begining of VFX

July 10th, 2008

Time turned to 2008. In the last academic year (2007 summer – 2008 summer), after doing several CG researches with some little personal projects, I finally accumulated some basic knowledge and experience. With that foundation, I started my final thesis.

My goal was simple to say but impossible to do:
I wanted to build a transforming robot.
Yes — a college amateur trying to challenge Hollywood’s industrial monsters.
Crazy, right?
But I just went to do it without any fear.

The interesting thing was that I didn’t have any real reference.
At that time in China, almost nobody knew Cinema 4D, which happened to be the only tool I used.
So I grabbed a book called “LightWave 8 Handbook.”
This was the only thing I could find that looked like a reference.

In the CG field of China, LightWave was already a very little‑known software…
and my choice, Cinema 4D, was little‑known’s little‑known.
Basically a rare Pokémon nobody had ever seen.

So I had to face a miserable situation:

no reference
no advice from professors
no tutorials
no team
no partners
no existing experience
no YouTube
no Vimeo

Everything was just me.

It felt like standing in front of a big, cold wall and being asked to write the formula for E = mc² from zero.

But after 8 months of isolated life, something happened.
The lights split the dark sky.
The wall was broken.
The equation was solved.
I survived.
My robot stood up.

Since God’s light shined on me, I felt this moment must be memorized.
So I decided to build a brand-new LiveSpace to show off my works.

Thus, LuChen’s 1st 3D Online Gallery was officially opened on my LiveSpace.
Countless people came to witness this groundbreaking ceremony (at least that’s how I felt).

Here, I put some of those early works —
let’s memorize that tremendous time when LU’s 3D journey first launched!

Go To Dream College

August 15th, 2010

From late 2008 to the end of 2010 was what I call the TOEFL Period. During those years, Lu had only one mission in life: to pass that fucking damned English exam.

The problem was — after learning English for 10 years in school, Lu still couldn’t speak English with good skill. Like most Chinese students, he suffered from what we called “deaf and dumb English.”

For most “well‑educated” Chinese who studied English for almost a decade, they still couldn’t speak or listen comfortably with native English speakers. But there was a very interesting social phenomenon:

Chinese people could understand English spoken by other Chinese,
but they couldn’t understand English spoken by native speakers.

So what kind of English was that — a language that only Chinese people could understand? Answer: Chinglish.

Wikipedia explains it like this:

“Chinglish is slang for spoken or written English that is influenced by Chinese language logic, or horribly translated.”

Exactly. Chinese logic + English words = a magical language system.
Let’s look at some examples:

TOEFL test, an English exam made by native English speakers, was probably the first English exam that actually helped me make real improvements — especially in speaking and listening. After learning English for 10 years at school and still unable to speak like a normal human, TOEFL finally solved the biggest problem: the robot finally learned how to talk.

When I later went to SCAD, I realized TOEFL really saved me. It fixed my “mute mode.” But speaking fluent English? That was just step one.

Some Hollywood movies also played the role of catalyst for my English speaking. One was the comedy “Accepted.” Another was the legendary “The Devil Wears Prada.”

Although my motivation for watching movies was never “pure learning,” they gave me things beyond grammar:

From Accepted, I learned how to make jokes.
From Devil Wears Prada, I learned the principles of film editing.

These two movies were like my personal English tutors — who also taught me humor and cinema.

My English study schedule was simple:
8:00 am – 11:00 am, then 3:00 pm – 6:00 pm.
Seven hours a day. The night was for my favorite things — games, music, movies — the only reward for my poor brain.

I prepared for almost a year. Then I returned to Zhejiang University to take my first TOEFL test. My mom thought my score would be around 40–50. When she heard I got 61, she became extremely excited — like I won a Nobel Prize or something.

She imagined:
“If next time he gets above 80, then he can take off for school in less than 2 years!”

But my second try backfired.
Still 60.

My mom guessed that I didn’t put effort into the second attempt. But in contrast, I thought it was just a natural bottleneck. When humans improve quickly, they will always hit a wall — even if they work hard. It’s not methodology. It’s just how humans are.

My treatment for this situation:
Patience. Change environment. Do unrelated things. Forget about it.

So I moved to Shanghai and found an internship, thanks to my uncle’s connection with the CEO of a company called BizArk (sounds like bizarre). They claimed they helped Chinese manufacturers raise their pricing power to get more profit. It was the first time I heard the term SEO (Search Engine Optimization). This internship expanded my worldview — especially on internet marketing.

With this internship and TOEFL classes at New Oriental School, my third try got a score of 78 — finally enough to get my ticket to graduate school.

If I had more time, my fourth try might have been 100 — maybe. LOL. But honestly, my purpose of taking TOEFL was not about chasing numbers. At the same time, I applied to five colleges and got accepted by three:

Art Institute of San Francisco replied first with super positive feedback. But because my TOEFL score didn’t meet their minimum requirement, they tried to help me get in through a special admission channel. Their dean even asked for a phone interview.

Kent University was the second one interested in me. But they added a request: “We appreciate your work. Could you try again and raise your TOEFL to 86? We’d be happy to have you here.” Seriously… 86? You kill me.

Right when I was preparing for AISF, a huge package fell from the sky — literally. It shocked me with its size.
It was from SCAD.

Inside was an official letter:
“Congratulations LU, we are honored to inform you that you are accepted by our VFX program.”
At that moment, I thought:
“Well, at least one college in this world understands me.”

I read that message a million times.
Finally —
I was a college boy.

Dreams Rock off

Sept.15th, 2011

In the year of 2011-2014, it was called SCAD epoch. Eventhough it just has 3 years in Lu's 37 years life, but it is much bigger than LU's whole time of college plugs his 7 years working time. So Lu decides to write a speicial artticle for it because it should be very long with solid details and stories which can not be shown in here. You can switch to LU in Writing channel to read it, feel it and experience it. Don't forget to click top menu.

Words in short, From 2011 to 2012 was Lu's ESL (English as Second Language) period. Lu got 3 beautiful girls in SCAD 2011 full orientation plus he also got many international friends as well in that day. He used to live in a big house with a guy called David King--who is the owner of the house-- during Lu's first quarter at SCAD. "So first I had to figure out how to survive in Savannah. To familiar with everything I saw was a huge challenge for a foreigner. There was no pre- excise to give me and let me was ready for doing something. Everything was like be struggling with. Everyone who arrived at a strange place with an alien culture would feel what I feel. Everything was like started from an at least a silly situation, sometimes people were kind to deal it with me, but not everyone was the same kind, sometimes they might laughed at, I knew that was not on purpose, that means I did it wrong."

"I did ride a second-hand bike to go to class, that cost me 70 bucks. The Harbersham Hall was 15 minutes away from where I lived when riding bike with full speed. It was very hard to imagine that I could take bike with fastest speed to go to class in everyday and I could still stand on it, it was real crazy. One reason might be an extremely good air quality which supported me to do it. You know that was almost 3 miles away with over 50 blocks. However, because of its crazy, I got a car accident, which almost took my life. Luckily two kind old white people found me and called police. I actually lost memory with 5 minutes, I remembered when woke up, I was hold and hugged by that old lady. When I realized I was still alive, I said 'am I alive?', the old lady said 'Yes you are alive, you are absolutely alive.' the old lady asked if she could go to hospital with me to take care of me, I shown her it was not necessary and did thanks her help.Then I was taken to an ambulance,they called my uncle, noticed my college. I was treated in hospital with 4 young beautiful blonde nurses, they was like in a dream. Well, that was a big day to me. at the beginning of my American trip."

Deborah Fowler

March 13rd, 2013

In the year of 2013, Lu met his unforgettable little blonde during the days of spring quarter in that year. She walked like Iron Man's piper, absolutely a female Man, a femalist. Her blonde hair was like bulb shining in the dark room, which attracted my attention. Later on I knew she was called Deborah, a professor who taught Lu programming. " Well, you know she was really tough, very hard to negotiate, and easy to make people crashed. Considering art based student's poor background of programming, I can't believe she even teach us Python, and using that Fxxx ridiculous Houdini. I was struggling with her assignments. Every night, you know, in every deep night, the rain was falling down like waterfall, everybody was like living in a comfortable room with happy TV episodes, while I was in the lab of Jan Library, had to face that believable coding, and working to midnight until the library was closed. Every midnight when I came home, what people could see was a poor shadow of a body, standing in the cold rain, breathing the frozen air, I didn't know if my face was splashed by rain or by my tears. So I did quit. But I still loved her, with tears.

Deborah could be called as Dr. Deborah, she owned Ph.D of computer science. I am so proud to be her student, even the worst one. Everything she taught me was demonstrated that they were foresight. She also reminds me my past grandma who share the same warmth and eye contact, which empowers me to go further with no fear. Because of she always talks about Houdini--a software of creating complex CG content, I give her a nickname called Houdini Girl."

To let people understand my tear which mixed love, hate, missing, complain, hugging and many more, I leave this song to share what was my feel to her at that moment.

My Happiest Time

March 3rd, 2014

The year 2014 spring is called my happiest time. Why? That beacuse of I took a class of professor Moon. with 2 beautiful blonde girls who made their finnal with us at the same time in the same classroom. With the beautiful blonde surrounding with me, how could I not be happy? The regretful thing was I forgot to kiss them two with my happiness, and purhaps I was too happy to forgot to ask their name even we had soild eye contacts for so long. Moon, I believe you must remember them, tell me where are they, I know you knew it!

Everyday in the spring of 2014 was shinny, beautiful, and unforgettble. The weater in Savannah at that time was great, no rain, no cloudy, just sunshine. That days I did use to think about maybe I should speak out my love idea to that two blonde girls, perhaps I could get one of them. If did so, there won't be so much sadness over the past years.

The Lost Years

Jan. 11, 2015

From 2015 to 2020 is called my lost years. Those years I tried to be VFX artist but not be successful due to extremely low income. Then I tried to make "big" money but was cheated by ACG company in Hangzhou. With a year lost, I was asked to create small business with my formal colleague, Unsurprisingly that bussiness was in toilate as well. Then only thing I want to mention was I got a trip to Paris during that 2 years. With nothing made successfully, I decided to make teaching in the year of 2017. The truth could tell us that maybe that year I was happy when I was in class talking to my students, if it was not interrupted by the police. From 2018 to 2020 I was focused on......nothing, just made money, that's okay. Who fucking care what I did. With the worst job I got and the longest working distance I had, I even surprisingly got depression, OMG! Thankfully, I got escape from that company on time, otherwise I couldn't imagine I could typing this words here like a normal person. Holly Crab!

Olivia Linn

Jan. 14th, 2021

Someone would say I was a lucky man. But luckyman would say Lucky contained so many unluckies. The No.1 unlucky thing was I even didn't know I had a blonde girlfriend and I was still pursuing it over the last 8 years. That's not called the surprise, that's called so radiculous. I never see someone who is related with this situation will get any benefites. One true dream seemed to partly come true that year - meeting Olivia Linn, a schoolmate from 2011 to 2014 at SCAD. She feeds all I want almost: blond hair, blue eyes, tall, slim, quiet, talent in illustration, smiling like suguar, used to have the some college life with me, pysically met. Only the tooth fall out. I call her Olin in short. She is unperfect, but somehow is almost enough to me. I used to dream spending my final days living with her in Denmark, or taking her to Shanghai. That was so sweet when we talking together. Seems like everything was real (at least we have pysical text messages). I wrote one song for our past.

I was told I had a relationship with an international pop star, but searching found no evidence - no reports or social media posts proving it. Instead, I found information showing it was just an illusion, perhaps from immersing myself online too much. No friends or family ever mentioned it. Nothing in my physical city suggested I had a famous girlfriend.

So I concluded it was an illusion, a tired one. I needed rest to clear my mind. Over two years, I disconnected from the web by deleting unnecessary social accounts and "friends." This wasn't isolation but bringing me from dreams into real life. I stopped dreaming of fame or success. Life became simpler. Now without western pop culture influences, films or international purchases, I confirmed my real life is just me. Who spread those rumors is unclear, but they've ended.

Now

Apr. 23th, 2024

The War begans, continuing, and never ending.
sigh.......